Jeber’s

Muslims, eat your heart out…

just don’t grab a Snickers bar.

Many religious dietary laws, like the vast majority of other religious precepts, served a practical purpose hundreds of years ago when sanitation, microbiology, proper food preparation and handling were unknown. Even in our modern world, strict vegetarians may find reason to agree with Muslims about many of the items listed below. Whatever the reason to observe dietary laws, we should acknowledge that their observance in the 21st century is due to philosophical considerations and no longer mandated by medical reasons. And for that we have science to thank.

Here’s a list of other products that Muslims have to be careful to avoid to comply with the dietary requirements of Islam.

Nutella Hazelnut Chocolate Spread, Ferrero Rocher Chocolates, Bounty Milk Miniatures; Celebration; Funsize – Mars, Milky Way, Snickers; Galaxy Caramel Swirls and M&M’s Peanut, Milky Way Crispy Rolls, Milky Way; Twix Kingsize, Aero – Milk chocolate, Orange, Peppermint; Animal Bar; Black Magic – Caramel, Hazel Cluster, Hazel in Caramel; Blue Ribband; Breakaway – Milk Camarac and Milk Chocolate; Caramac; Dairy Box – Almond Fayre, Autumn Hazelnut, Caramel Classic, Country Fudge, Nut Swirl, Strawberry Fool, Toffee Cup, Turkish Delight, Vanilla Truffle, Wafer Sandwich; Golden Cup; Kit Kat; Lion Bar; Matchmakers – Coconut, Mint, Orange; Milkybar White Chocolate Mini Eggs; Munchies; Quality Street – Caramel Cup, Coconut Éclair, Dairy Fudge, Fruit & Nut Delight, Hazelnut Éclair, Hazelnut in Caramel, Milk chocolate Hazelnut, Noisette Triangle, Toffee Deluxe, Toffee Fingers, Vanilla Octagon; Rolo Bar; Rolo; Smarties – orange only; Walnut whip – Vanilla; Yorkie – Milk Chocolate, Nutter, Raisin & Biscuit. Kraft Singles Cheese Food Slices

Cheese Quavers; Cheesy Monster Munch; Savoury Cheese Snaps; Walkers – Cheese & Onion Crisps, Cheese & Onion Lites, Tomato Ketchup Crisps, MAX Hard Cheese & Onion, Kettle Chips Yoghurt and Green Onion.

More surprisingly perhaps these products from The Body Shop are alleged to contain by-products from the meat industry: Bath Beads – all varieties, Bath Bubbles – Cola, Forest Jelly, Ice Cream, Satsuma, Strawberry; Hawthorn Hand Cream; Shampoo – Mint & Thyme, Orange Oat, Seaweed & Peony; Tea Tree Oil Facial Wash

And finally Kellogg’s Pop Tarts which quite frankly should be haram (forbidden) for everyone.

The products listed contain Gelatine (derived from skin, tendon, ligaments, and bones of animals which may not have been slaughtered according to halal practice) or Rennet, derived from calves stomachs and used in cheese making. Whey powder is produced when cheese is made using rennet. If rennet is taken from animals slaughted according to Islamic law it is halal, but abstinence from rennet is often advised to be on the safe side. (Source)

Enjoy that salad.

Singapore Stores Pull ‘Jesus’ Cosmetics

A cosmetics line that extolled the virtues of “Lookin’ Good for Jesus” has been pulled from stores in Singapore after a number of complaints from shoppers, according to media reports Tuesday.

Promising to “Redeem your reputation and more,” the product line included a “virtuous vanilla”-flavored lip balm and a “Get Tight with Christ” hand and body cream, The Straits Times said.

Wing Tai Retail, which manages the British retailer Topshop, removed the line late last month after receiving complaints.

“These products trivialize Jesus Christ and Christianity,” it quoted Nick Chui, 27, one of the complainants, as saying. “There are also sexual innuendoes in the messages and the way Jesus is portrayed in these products.”

One product has packaging with the image of Jesus wearing a bright white robe as he looks toward the heavens, while a heavily made-up blonde woman with an arm draped across his shoulder gazes dreamily at his face.

“Why would anyone use religious figures to promote vanity products? It’s very disrespectful and distasteful,” the report quoted 24-year-old accountant Grace Ong as saying.  (Source)

What accounts for the recent increase in incidents of religious whining about respect?  Muslims get offended by cartoons while Christians take offense at a line of tacky cosmetics.

Read the Koran or Bible and highlight all the humorous passages, all the scriptures that indicate the gods or their followers have a sense of humor or even a healthy self-image.  You’ll be reading a lot and highlighting nothing.  Believers may have the light of fanaticism in their eyes but you’ll be hard pressed to find one with a twinkle of wit.  Considering how comical religious beliefs are, it’s too bad the religious lack the ability to appreciate that.

Equal offender

I was reminded the other day that most of my recent comments have been restricted to Christians; I’m in danger of becoming too focused on a single branch of theism.

Let me correct that oversight by posting something that I can only hope will offend the Muslims.

Now to go find something that offends those pesky suicide-bombing, door-to-door salesman like Buddhists.